if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
