Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
