Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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