There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
