Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
