i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
