Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
wow bdsm is so cute
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
