i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She announced her abortion via fbk
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
