I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
