i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
