Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
