she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
