You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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