I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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