Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
