It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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