I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
