Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
