I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
