You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
