Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
