im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
