Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
