You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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