I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
