Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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