I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
