I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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