went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
