hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
