just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
