He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
