I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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