that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
