She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
