I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
