Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
