so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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