she looked like the bat from fern gully.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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