i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
