he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
