FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
