im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
