You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
