a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
