the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
