i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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