1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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