You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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