even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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