Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
