you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
